The truth about why guys have puppy dogs
tags:... as demonstrated in a Jim Bean ad.

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*brief
Whenever i'm forced to take my mom's dog out all the girls flock around..
But the problem is i don't want to have anything to do with a girl who has or wants a puppy.
Perhaps i should train a dog to be cute so they come close, and then to attack them so they'll never want to see a dog in their lives, and i would get to play the rescuing hero.
Also if one existed I would totally go there all the time. PUPPIES!