When my belly starts a-rumblin',
and I'm jonesin' for a treat.
I close my eyes for a big surprise,
the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch,
the breasts they grow on trees.
And streams of bacon ranch dressing,
flow right up to your knees.
Tumbleweeds of bacon,
and cheddar paves the streets.
Folks don't front 'ya cause ya got the juice,
there's a train of ladies comin' with a nice caboose.
Never get in trouble, never need an excuse,
the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.
I love the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch
no one tells ya to behave.
Your wildest fantasies come true,
Dallas cheerleaders give you shaves.
Red onions make you laugh instead,
and french fries grow like weeds.
Ya get to veg all day,
all the lotto tickets pay.
The king who wants you to have it your way,
that's the Tendercrisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch.