Terrible Games From A Terrible Games Company
tags:
Stumble ThisPhoenix Games, makes terrible games
With the first game here called "White Van Racer" (I kid you not) it features some games with the WORST voice acting ever!
Enjoy. I need to go and spoon out my eyes.
With the first game here called "White Van Racer" (I kid you not) it features some games with the WORST voice acting ever!
Enjoy. I need to go and spoon out my eyes.
...and a lion cub that talks like Juan Valdez.
Terrible channel ultrawin!
To be fair they describe themselves as a 'super budget publisher'.
Hahah.. The Animal Soccer thing is just the developers doing the voices, I guess.
Father:"Do you know what's happened to my tie"
Father:"No I don't, perhaps it's in a draw"
And definitely on the Disney, well, and pretty much any other successful kids movie. We have land before time, Bedknobs and Broomsticks, Lion King.
Man, how do they sleep at night knowing that unsuspecting parents have bought their kids these games and those kids have been forever traumatized.
Horrible.
I had a similar gaming experience just recently. Myself and my kids were given a Wii for Christmas (huzzah), and so I was out looking for a budget game to add to Wii Sports. Well, I couldn't find anything that I'd seen a good review of, so I stupidly purchased something that was budget priced and looked like it would give the kids some fun little games to play like they do with Wii Sports (they're 4 and 5 yrs old)... well... I was stupid.
I bought this game and got it home... and then was STUNNED at the abysmal quality of it.
Something I thought would be really easy for them is the old slam the hammer on the thing to ring the bell game... NOPE. First you had to do a pumping motion really hard with the nunchuck, then you had to press a button the wiimote, then you had to spin the wiimote around and around to erm... charge up something, then you had to press another button and do a downward motion with the nunchuck.
HOW HARD would it have been to just have it be a swing down motion with the bloody wiimote?
And pretty much every game was either overly complex or just INSANELY difficult.
Then the story mode was of the same ilk as the ones in this video... stationary pictures with a few cutouts moving across the screen with no animation, and piss poor voice work.
So, because of that I will NEVER buy a game made by 'Play Zone'.
I was just glad it was the first game I'd ever bought from an EB games, because they take returns just because you thought the game was crap.
Thank god for that!
If you ARE after a good game for preschoolers, can I recommend Diego Safari Rescue. Awesome game that my kids love AND can control really easily, and yet has a large range of different wiimote actions that fit in with the things they're doing onscreen... really well made game.
"With a small elite team of 6 people ...
...We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months."
I work in the game industry and I can read between the lines and know what this actually means. Those six guys probably sleep at the office more than at home. if they have kids, they might as well be orphans and I would bet they don't get paid overtime. I have been through a situation like this (i started my career at the infamous 3DO) and I know that even good people will make a crap product when put in a situation like this.
So, while I understand why others ridicule them, i can't do it myself. walk a mile in another mans shoes, etc...
I have been through a situation like this (i started my career at the infamous 3DO) and I know that even good people will make a crap product when put in a situation like this.
So, while I understand why others ridicule them, i can't do it myself. walk a mile in another mans shoes, etc...
I'm going to have to disagree. If a chef makes a dish that he can't stand behind, he shouldn't serve it. To create and sell shit like this is disgraceful.
These guys have no excuse.
Yes indeedy!
It bears more or a resemblance to a hearse.
I had to down-vote this sift. I realize the games are awful and i feel bad for anyone who gets one as a present. however, from their site:
"With a small elite team of 6 people ...
...We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months."
I work in the game industry and I can read between the lines and know what this actually means. Those six guys probably sleep at the office more than at home. if they have kids, they might as well be orphans and I would bet they don't get paid overtime. I have been through a situation like this (i started my career at the infamous 3DO) and I know that even good people will make a crap product when put in a situation like this.
So, while I understand why others ridicule them, i can't do it myself. walk a mile in another mans shoes, etc...
yep, I work in the games industry too - but the bottom line is, you can't be proud of a game that is best described as 'avoid'
|These are cheap cheap games, made on the cheap. And yes, even if you are very talented - you will not be able to produce much of quality in such a short time frame. But still....the London driving game, I mean...come on!!
http://www.videosift.com/video/GTA-IV-eat-your-heart-out-it-s-the-london-cab-challenge
I had to down-vote this sift. I realize the games are awful and i feel bad for anyone who gets one as a present. however, from their site:
"With a small elite team of 6 people ...
...We boast the shortest time required from development to product release in the industry. Ordinarily the average development period for a game is 18 months, whereas Phoenix need a mere 3-5 months."
I work in the game industry and I can read between the lines and know what this actually means. Those six guys probably sleep at the office more than at home. if they have kids, they might as well be orphans and I would bet they don't get paid overtime. I have been through a situation like this (i started my career at the infamous 3DO) and I know that even good people will make a crap product when put in a situation like this.
So, while I understand why others ridicule them, i can't do it myself. walk a mile in another mans shoes, etc...
Nope, it's no excuse... it's like saying "Look, all these knock off brand sneakers, glasses, bags etc. may be absolute shit, but come on, let's not point out how bad quality they are because people who aren't doing very well make them"
Nope, doesn't cut it. Yeah you can feel bad for people down on their luck, but these are people with at least the education required to be able to code, so they should be doing better than this. And even with a short turn around time they aren't EVEN TRYING. Come on, you get together a bunch of your mates and I GUARANTEE you can get better written and performed voice work than this... it doesn't take more TIME it takes SOME CARE.
So I think downvoting this is the wrong attitude, you don't hide shite quality like this and allow them to keep making it, you call them out on it and make them lift their shitty little game a bit and actually... TRY.
Also, just pumping out copies of other things. BAH, at least try to make something vaguely original.
No sympathy.
and spoco, i DO feel very bad for the people in sweatshops making knock-off designer crap. That's a horrible life. I don't want the crap they produce, but i can still empathize with the worker that is powerless to make a difference.