Mike B meets the film franchise that deserves him. So awesome!

god i hate michael bay

I already feel sorry for the special effects team. All that eye popping hard work washed down the toilet of Michael Bay's brain.

HE KNOCKED DOWN THE AMERICAN FLAG OFF THE BROOKLYN BRIDGE

DON'T YOU GET THE SYMBOLISM?

IT'S SYMBOLIC.

(OF COURSE)

PLEASE PAY $14 TO SEE WHY IT'S SYMBOLIC.

Also: fart humor.

And then.. an 18-wheeler spins out of control, and it's all "craaaawwwwww pshhhhhhoooooo"

We then go to a CG building and a helicopter crashes into it, and "baaaawwwwwww, sscchhhoooorrrrrrr"

I thought I was cynical and bitter. I'm glad to see I can still be outmatched, it provides me with a brief glimpse that the pit of despair is far from bottomless.

If the Sphinx transforms, that would be cool. If not, there's always the sequel's sequel!

Nah, the sequel's sequel will totally have Dinobots!