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adorable,innocent,misguided,youth,vlog Neither have you tasted my jesus!

Neither have you tasted my jesus!

posted by Majortomyorke 7 months 3 weeks ago • 2988 views
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Comments subscribe to this feed
Oh dear God why have you put these retards on the earth? Is it to test my faith? Really?!?

I'm not familiar with that particular Bible story. Is there a version of the Bible I haven't heard of that talks about teachers debating creation with their students?


written by Fade  | 7 months 3 weeks ago | CH
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She's like the Ellen Feiss of the creationists!
Oh, I love the Internet.


written by grinter  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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I love the "when the world could end" timeline.


written by thinker247  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Wait for it....


written by dystopianfuturetoday  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Sunday, April 5th, 2009 12:03pm PDT - promote requested by dystopianfuturetoday.


written by siftbot  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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5 minutes, a week, a year, a month, or even right now.
Are those really my only options?


written by omnistegan  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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I was a crazy Christian like this girl when I was a teenager, but I don't recall asking anyone to taste my Jesus.


written by thinker247  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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*eia


written by MrFisk  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Adding video to channels (Eia) - requested by MrFisk.


written by siftbot  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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So this creepy looking guy in a large overcoat came out of a desk and asked this girl "Suck mah cock!" and she says "No, that's wrong!". He then pulls out a lollipop, licks it like a perv and asks "Hey girlie, is this lolli bitter, or sweet?". She says "I dunno Mr., I never tried it" to which he replies "NEITHER HAVE YOU TASTED MY PENIS!!!!".

You see, either you're cock-sucker, or a sinner. There's no in between. Either you worship the cock, or your own false God. Think about that, THINK!


written by GoShogun  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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She really should consider shooting more than one take in the future. I don't believe this would be the best one.


written by blankfist  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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A dangerous dualism.


written by Kerotan  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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The cartoon with the NEITHER HAVE YOU TASTED MY JESUS made me lol.


written by JAPR  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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If I ask her to taste my Jesus isn't that considered statutory rape?


written by Darkhand  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Between the speech habits that just ring of stupidity and the fact that she's not that attractive, would you really even want to?


written by JAPR  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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I wanna get down on my knees and start pleasing jesus...I wanna feel his salvation all over my face...


written by boksinx  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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GTFO


written by pipp3355  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Basic moral of the story: You're either with us, or against us. Because we're not smart enough to recognize that there could be a third, or even fourth option...

Nice.


written by videosiftbannedme  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Man, I'm not sure it's worth it to make fun of this chick as some sort of rant against Christianity. Admittedly the story is ridiculous, but it's sort of like getting some 15 year old 'atheist' and having him tell one story about why he doesn't believe in god (One day I prayed for, like, 20 whole minutes for God to let Cindy Perkins go out with me, and she said no, so like, now I KNOW there's no God...) and have christian theologian and scholars rip the kid a new one and say how obvious that atheists are all horny teenagers who are just rebelling against their moms.


Also, run on sentences.


written by Lolthien  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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I think I have this one down, from that college class I was at. If I remember correctly she was a Ignarus Secuutus Sarcalogos Non Morbus. Typical response from that species.

Typically, this type has a regularity of mistaking marshmallow spread, mayonnaise, light drizzle sugar frosting/glaze, etc... . Of course, this doesn't develop until the prime mating age of 35-50 years of age. They typically will breed with the specie Popularis Garishulus Ignoramus Repeaticus, also well known as misidentifying anything else as a supernatural event, once they leave their maturing colonies from ages 13-21.


written by kceaton1  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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This was laugh out loud funny.


written by Simple_Man  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Take my Jesus in thine mouth and taste it. Taste my salty disciples too.


written by gwiz665  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Anyone else thinking of Bo Burnham and "I'm gay for Jesus"?


written by carrot  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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I believe this is an excellent example of circular logic. Sin and Jesus are mutually exclusive, but both entities only exist within the framework of Jesus.

The great part is that you can't be a sinner if you don't believe in Magical Sky Man....so rest easy my little heathens.


written by dirtythirtyix  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Honestly, what ever happened to worshiping Thor? Get drunk, honour your parents, and have the makeouts with warrior women? Time to bring back the Church of Thor!


written by Bruti79  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Now there's a future Republican vice-presidential candidate if I've ever seen one.


written by HollywoodBob  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Anyone else wondering why a devout christian would be in an evolutionary science class?

Also, science can probably deduce if the apple was sweet or not without even tasting it.
The story seems to take place in North America, because, that`s where all the bible stuff is relevant nowadays.

The most common apples sold around North America are: Granny Smith, Empire, Mac`s, and Fuji.

All of the above except granny smith are sweet, and all the apples can be told apart based on size and colour.

In my opinion, the story isn`t very relevant, science can prove if the apple was bitter or sweet.


written by Shepppard  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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i haven't i have not tasted this apple you have eaten so i do not know whether you whether it is bitter or sweet or not i haven't tasted it.


written by E_Nygma  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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>> ^E_Nygma:
i haven't i have not tasted this apple you have eaten so i do not know whether you whether it is bitter or sweet or not i haven't tasted it.


Meth is a helluva drug?


written by Shepppard  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Somebody should take away her webcam. She just isn't safe on the dirty interwebtubes.


written by fdisk  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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MAGIC IS REAL!


written by honkeytonk73  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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*terrible
serious ignorance.


written by jwray  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Adding video to channels (Terrible) - requested by jwray.


written by siftbot  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Green Apples = Sour
Red Apples = Sweet
Jesus = Bitter


written by dystopianfuturetoday  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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>> ^kceaton1:
I think I have this one down, from that college class I was at. If I remember correctly she was a Ignarus Secuutus Sarcalogos Non Morbus. Typical response from that species.

This type has a regularity of singing really bad music so consider yourself warned.



I suspect you meant ignara secuuta sarcalogou inmortui.

* cough *

* retreats to his dusty piles of books *


written by HadouKen24  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
 2  | flag spam (0)
>> ^HadouKen24:
>> ^kceaton1:
I think I have this one down, from that college class I was at. If I remember correctly she was a Ignarus Secuutus Sarcalogos Non Morbus. Typical response from that species.

This type has a regularity of singing really bad music so consider yourself warned.



I suspect you meant ignara secuuta sarcalogou inmortui.

cough

retreats to his dusty piles of books


Naw, I'm just being sarcastic.


written by kceaton1  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
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Man one thing you can really see from the video is that if you taste jesus you can also apparently use it as a spf 1000 suntan lotion.


written by kceaton1  | 7 months 2 weeks ago | CH
 0  | flag spam (0)
*promote, so we can all taste her Jesus.


written by thinker247  | 1 month 3 weeks ago | CH
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Promoting this video back to the front page; last published Sunday, April 5th, 2009 12:03pm PDT - promote requested by thinker247.


written by siftbot  | 1 month 3 weeks ago | CH
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Upvote for the drawing and music for "Neither have you tasted my Jesus". lmao


written by Jaace  | 1 month 3 weeks ago | CH
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Thanks, Jesus by JAPR  • Propaganda in the age of the internet by Mauru  • Comedy by MrDr  • FAIL! by MrDr

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