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Jim Burroway talks a little bit about Love In Action, another "ex-gay" organization in Tennessee affiliated with Exodus International. Did you know that masturbation and naughty underwear both can lead to homosexuality? So by my estimate, approximately 100% of the people on this planet are gay.
Criteria (as indicated by this video material):
All of my wife's (hereinafter, Test Subject No.1) underwear falls strictly into the 'naughty' category, as classified by one of my extremities. That's one.
Second-although I'm not entirely sure (more qualitative data need to be collected via hands-on approach/observations), it is likely Test Subject No.1 has masturbated at least once.
Hypothesis:
Test Subject No.1 is homosexual.
Method:
Upon initial brainstorming the most effective method for verifying the hypothesis seems to be subjecting Test Subject No.1 to camera-monitored and recorded close proximity of a visually pleasing specimen of the same gender, preferably homosexual, robed also in what can be classified as 'naughty' underwear. I also acknowledge other conditions such as downtempo music, presence of lit candles and a dip of aphrodisiac in the preceding cuisine/ventilation system might benefit eliciting a more rapid response from both Test Subjects.
I only wonder, to whom should I turn for financing such research?
as for mastubation makes you gay... I'm pretty sure that most people wouldn't agree with that.
As for "my wife's vagina is enough"... seriously... lets hope she never leaves you (or goes off sex)
Premise:
A) getting sexually pleasured by somebody of ones own sex is gay.
B) masturbation is a form of sexual pleasure.
C) the only person involved in masturbation is the masturbator.
D) all people are their own sex.
E) masturbators are people.
Conclusion:
masterbating is gay.
Well done dgandhi
"It's been said that 90% of men masturbate, 80% of women masturbate
...and the rest lie."
As hilarious as that is, I feel it necessary to point out that the defining characteristic homosexuality is the sexual arousal from other members of the same sex.
It is defined as: "sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex."
Wow, way to totally devalue your wife as a person there. Not only is he a gay man in denial he's a misogynist to boot.
It is defined as: "sexual desire or behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex."
Where exactly do you see other in that definition?
P.S.
"The lady doth protest too much, methinks." - William Shakespeare (Hamlet)
1) I wasn't protesting anything
2) I'm not even stating my opinions or beliefs about anything here
The definition doesn't include "toward one's self" - the "toward a person or persons" are meant to point to other people.
All that aside, if your comment wasn't a joke, then I'm disappointed, because I laughed my ass off.
If it's not, then 'masturbation = homosexuality" isn't true for one simple reason. When I'm doing the knuckle shuffle, I'm not being aroused by the thought of other men. If you want to pull the "Well you're a male" card then I offer you this:
In the words of Metallica - So fucking what?
I'm pretty sure you would think it weird to have someone else wipe your ass or aid you in urination, no matter the gender. So why is it OK for you to do it yourself? Because it's your body.
All that aside, if your comment wasn't a joke, then I'm disappointed, because I laughed my ass off.
Of course, but I got an extra giggle out of yanking your chain (innuendo?).
Your counter argument was premise A.
And seriously "I fuck guys, but I'm thinking about women" doesn't work with partners, so why should it work solo? The joke is funny because it points to a real ambiguity in the hetero/homo distinction, don't try to explain it away, it's there. On the other hand if some people were not so obsessed with trying to explain it away it would probably loose it's humor.
You got a laugh from my post, I get a laugh from your responses, so don't think I don't appreciate you contribution, just understand that your position is part of the joke.
Problems are:
* He is gay, but as he has been told, being gay is wrong... so he really, really wants to not be gay. Problem there is that those telling him being gay is wrong are themselves very wrong, there's nothing at all wrong with it.
* So, he's trying to deny natural urges of being attracted to men. He NEVER will be able to get rid of them. He can try to 'ignore' them, he can try to shift his focus to his poor, poor wife. But the issue is he is attracted to MEN.
* He has deduced that wanking is wrong because when you masturbate, if you are not using visual aids, it's up to your mind to picture what best turns you on, and what does his mind come up with? Men... men all naked and sweaty and gay. So, unless he has his 'wife' there with him fondling his package, he can't get aroused by women... So he's decided it's the act of wanking that's the issue here, not the people who say you have to deny what your own sexuality and attractions are.
Doing this will do nothing other than make him miserable and those around him. And the worst thing is that he spreads this complete lie and makes others subscribe to it, thus making them also unhappy and those around them also miserable.
And the end result will be someone finally not being able to take the denying of oneself any longer and doing something terrible, like cheating on their partner, committing suicide, becoming violent towards their partner, any number of horrible things that occur when you're suppressing such a huge part of yourself.
Very, very, very sad.
i'm gay for myself.
I, too, am gay for my15minute's self.
If you cloned, and had sex with yourself is that masturbation?
Does swallowing make one a cannibal?
Devicrom
A) the quote above? Fucking loved it!
b) Adds a whole new layer to "Go fuck yourself"
'Here 'til Sunday, enjoy the veal!
>> ^my15minutes:
>> i'm gay for myself.
> I, too, am gay for my15minute's self.
guess that makes me the mouse on your back?
only a mouse from the waist up, though, baby. below the belt, i'm all moose.
hope you can take it all. but don't worry, i'll be gentle. after all, i can't swim!
... well that would just be awesome. What were we talking about again?
Now you're thinking with portals.
In order to make sure my g/f stays straight(well, enough anyway), I am going to have to ask her to give up underwear; "naughty" is quite subjective and we don't want any accidents, and it would seem better to avoid it altogether.
You could always do what Iran does, and just offer government incentives for sex changes. . . . but I'd make an ugly ass girl. Damn! lol