...is rough on the eyes. Any way we can opt-out?
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What would be better is if you photoshopped everyone's avatar into a Halloween theme.
I don't find the color scheme particularly pleasant, but it's manageable now.
GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS.
BY COLIN NISSAN
- - - -
I don't know about you, but I can't wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I'm about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it's gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is—fucking fall. There's a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
I may even throw some multi-colored leaves into the mix, all haphazard like a crisp October breeze just blew through and fucked that shit up. Then I'm going to get to work on making a beautiful fucking gourd necklace for myself. People are going to be like, "Aren't those gourds straining your neck?" And I'm just going to thread another gourd onto my necklace without breaking their gaze and quietly reply, "It's fall, fuckfaces. You're either ready to reap this freaky-assed harvest or you're not."
Carving orange pumpkins sounds like a pretty fitting way to ring in the season. You know what else does? Performing an all-gourd reenactment of an episode of Diff'rent Strokes—specifically the one when Arnold and Dudley experience a disturbing brush with sexual molestation. Well, this shit just got real, didn't it? Felonies and gourds have one very important commonality: they're both extremely fucking real. Sorry if that's upsetting, but I'm not doing you any favors by shielding you from this anymore.
The next thing I'm going to do is carve one of the longer gourds into a perfect replica of the Mayflower as a shout-out to our Pilgrim forefathers. Then I'm going to do lines of blow off its hull with a hooker. Why? Because it's not summer, it's not winter, and it's not spring. Grab a calendar and pull your fucking heads out of your asses; it's fall, fuckers.
Have you ever been in an Italian deli with salamis hanging from their ceiling? Well then you're going to fucking love my house. Just look where you're walking or you'll get KO'd by the gauntlet of misshapen, zucchini-descendant bastards swinging from above. And when you do, you're going to hear a very loud, very stereotypical Italian laugh coming from me. Consider yourself warned.
For now, all I plan to do is to throw on a flannel shirt, some tattered overalls, and a floppy fucking hat and stand in the middle of a cornfield for a few days. The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.
Welcome to autumn, fuckheads!
http://www.mcsweeneys.net/2009/10/20nissan.html
The Halloween theme is hard to read.
What he said...just an opt out is all we ask, how about adding it to the upper toolbar? a moon, a sun and a pumpkin?
It's a great idea to mix it up a bit, Keeps things interesting, and I like that.
Like Dracula says, "Suck It Up" people, and enjoy it for a couple days before going back to the tried and true!
Also, stop making fun stuff... the internets is serious business!!
I'm glad we switched it back to a solid white light bulb effect because I'm just not comfortable unless my retinas are bleeding from staring directly into a bright light source for six or seven hours.
Hey Lucky, I have a suggestion that might make this whole light/dark thing a lot easier:
Maybe you guys could program the site to detect our ocular retention by using our webcam to track our eye fatigue. Then it's just a simple matter of watching all those feeds to determine the best response and creating a sliding scale of alternate text and background shades based on each user like a sleep number bed. You could scale it to say, one through one-thousand. Then simply make the appropriate change and verify our response again via the webcam service. Repeat this a few hundred times and wham, you get a custom setting per user.
Please set mine to 375 text and 425 background, cause I don't think I will need a lot of clarity. However, using me as a test case, we can build from there. Of course, I'd want some power points for helping you out.
EDIT: And I don't think we should be complaining about t-shirt advertising. We all partake of this site, we shouldn't be surprised if they want to sell us some wares.
For the moment we've made it so only the dark theme will display our special Halloween theme. Thank the spoil sports. (I know a few people who are getting razor blades in their apples this year.)
Thanks for the Public Option lucky... it's all we asked for. No hater here, just hard to read a lot of the comments with white text on gray backgrounds, options are good.
Man, I'm going to TP all of your houses.
I have a house?
Beware!!! Ghosties and Goblins go after whiny children!
I am a child?
Please set mine to 375 text and 425 background, cause I don't think I will need a lot of clarity. However, using me as a test case, we can build from there. Of course, I'd want some power points for helping you out.
What about those without webcams like me?